The Power of Eye Contact: Your Secret for Success in Business, Love, and Life

The streets of New York City have to be one of the most low eye contact places on earth. We are a combination of super busy and totally terrified that by looking each other in the eye we will be asked to buy something or do something. It is also the place where people find it hardest to connect and find community and friends, on a day to day scale and on just on the I'm human, you're human level with even a simple smile on the street. When I was reading this book I tried to more consciously to make eye contact with people walking down the street = ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE!!!But, this book, while being a really thorough book on how and why we should improve out eye contact abilities, is also people magnet. The cover really stands out! When I was reading it on the subway and being aware of my own eye contact, people would see the cover and make eye contact with me. I'd look back at them and make a little connection.I've even gone so far as to tell my friends who are looking for love to not only read this book because it has some really beneficial info from experts on using eye contact to meet the ONE, but I suggested they sit in a social setting like a cafe or a bar reading this book. Hold the book up so others can see the cover and be aware of the interest it attracts and use it as a conversation starter and an ice breaker!Besides that technique, there is a lot of valuable tips and information in the book that will help you make better connections with people no matter what your objectives are. Eye contact to me means "I" contact and giving others your attention, which is really what they want from us and what we want from them.

Though I was looking for something a bit more in the relationship/male-female dynamic, and though this book did cover that area to a degree, Ellsberg covers a much broader application of Eye contact in the personal and professional areas. The book is easy to read, very interesting, and a good resource on the topic. For some reason it is heavy on this so-called "evolutionary biology", which has no bearing on the study and application of eye contact. I don't fault Ellsberg himself for this: there seems to be an emphasis in this area in a number of other contemporary books and authors. It is rather interesting to note that older books, say 20 years or so, which discuss eye contact and body language in general, have to such discussion of such "evolutionary biology" whatsoever. Take it with a grain of salt.

By reading this I realized that I've had one huge and monstrous flaw. My problem is that I don't look at women's eyes enough.The book explains that humans have evolved a mechanism of transmitting feelings through the eyes and facial muscles. This was a huge advantage in hunter/gatherer times because people could easily know if a tribesman was scared, ill, hungry, tired, etc. We have evolved to have a built in system that communicates our emotions. When you look into someones eyes, you experience a "mirror emotion", your body actually has cells that make you feel how your fellow human is felling. Basically, eye contact is the best way to get women. No eye contact, no women. Simply relaxing your jaw, smiling at a women and looking into her eyes makes her happy because of those "mirror emotions".The book recommends looking into everyone's eyes that you cross on the street. Use your eyes on cashiers and waitresses. When your eyes cross with a women, if she looks away and looks back at you, you basically have a women that is telling you that she is simply interested to meet you, not necessarily for sex, but at least to test you and see if she likes you.The book is made for women too. A chapter is gender specific.

Aloha,Great book, excellent working examples, POWERFUL methods of interacting. Ellsberg has done a great job of compiling and integrating good info from many experts in this and related fields, then taking it to a much higher level.Very interesting, valuable and things that I can do-right now, to increase my effectiveness in communication. AND possibly even more important, I became aware of some behaviors that I personally need to avoid.THIS BOOK IS WORTH MANY TIMES ITS COST. The information in this book is something you can use immediately.AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS INFO SO THAT YOU CAN KNOW WHEN IT IS BEING USED AGAINST YOU IN BUSINESS SITUATIONS, ETC.I recognized a few tactics that have been used in communication with me. GUYS... you need to know these things. LADIES-you need to be able to tell when a guy is BS'g you. This will help you with that. Few books are Must Reads. This is one of them.