Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

I believe this book saved my life. I'm not prone to melodrama, or to such excessively long reviews, but this is true, and so important to me, I have to say it. I've been working for years in an extremely busy law office. It's been growing harder and harder throughout the years for me to handle this job. Two months ago my boss fired my coworker, and I've since had to take on two people's work plus train multiple new people (as the first two didn't stay), all with constant, all day long interruptions, high-intensity demands, and a high level of multitasking. This has happened many times before, and while it was dreadful, I managed, but for some reason this time I just couldn't handle it. My entire life has been on hold since this started, I get home from work too exhausted to do anything except veg out for a couple hours and go to bed, and even weekends aren't much better. I was taking terrible care of myself and my life was falling apart. I did, in fact, feel like I was killing myself with this lifestyle, but I simply did not have the energy to fix any of it, or for that matter have any idea how to fix it. I blamed myself - there must be something `wrong with me' because I can't handle the job. I wanted to leave, but thought, if I can't handle this job, how am I going to handle a new job? It'll probably be more of the same. I thought I was just getting soft because I was getting older (I'm in my late 40s). I've always known I was introverted, but I didn't realize just what all that entailed - I thought it mostly meant `shy' or that I didn't like social settings. This book taught me more about myself than I've ever known. It read like my biography. Almost every page had a new insight into why I think and feel the way I do. Throughout the book I saw my very own self described in new and empowering ways. I learned that the job situation I'm currently in - the non-stop deadline demands, interruptions, never being able to work quietly or alone no matter how difficult a project was, phones ringing incessantly, people in my face all day long, etc. - especially when it's work that I actually don't care anything about personally - those are the exact circumstances that trip every one of a strong introvert's triggers. And I was subjecting myself to it 40 hours a week, for months. It's no wonder I was so miserable and completely exhausted all the time. And as enlightening as it was to learn how many of the traits I've beat myself up for over the years are just a product of my introverted temperament (being highly sensitive, shutting down when subjected to stimulation overload, preferring to think a thing through before I speak - something I never get to do at work, as if it takes me more than 5 seconds to say something, I get interrupted and cut off), the most important thing I got from this book is that it's okay to be myself, it's okay to feel the way I do. There is not something `wrong with me' that I have to `fix.' I am not weak or a failure because I don't feel or behave like my extremely extroverted boss (who thrives in high-energy crisis mode, and is bored unless he's doing 10 things at once - and expects the rest of us to keep up). And far from it being an age-related `going soft,' what's probably in fact going on is that as I get older, it is becoming increasingly vital to me to be truer to myself. I also found the information on the history of the "rise of the Culture of Personality" completely fascinating, it really gave me a new insight as to just exactly how we 'grew' this tendency to value extroversion over introversion. It makes so much more sense now. This book gave me the courage I needed to start taking the steps to fix my work situation. Not only the courage, but the `permission' and the understanding - because I now know there isn't something wrong with me, but instead this is what I need to do to be my best self, and stop killing myself with stress. That I probably can find a place of value in the world by being myself, not trying to force myself to be something I'm not. I know I will meet resistance from my boss (I'd love for him to read this book, but unfortunately I know he won't), and I know I won't instantly fix everything in one day, and that I'll probably always need to be able to stretch myself a bit to do things that are not ideal for me ... but this book taught me that there are ways to make that work, too, if you understand and honor the need for recharging around such tasks, instead of trying to force yourself to do them 8 hours a day with no break. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, in either direction. Basically, I'm not out of the woods yet, but I now see the path out, and I have hope. I think every introvert should read this book, because it will help you understand why you are who you are, and why that's a beautiful thing, not a character flaw. And I think everyone who knows an introvert should read this book, and quit trying to "fix us." Which means pretty much the entire country (or world) should read this book. The wealth of information and insights in this book cannot be overstated - especially if you are an introverted type of person who has always felt there was something not quite right about you, or that you somehow needed to change to fit in or succeed. This book will give you back yourself, and in my case, my life. Thank you, Susan Cain, from the bottom of my heart (which is finally beating at a more normal speed because I'm not panicked about going to work for the first time in months). Edited 11-13-14: It worked! I'm now working half-days at the office and half-days at home, and in a few weeks will transition to working from home full time. I never imagined that could happen. It's amazing what becomes possible when you finally realize you deserve what you already knew you needed.

Self-described introvert Susan Cain speaks out to bring us Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (Random House; ISBN 0307352153, ASIN B004J4WNL2), a tome that resonates with and validates introverts. Describing the rise of the “Extrovert Ideal”, Cain also defines these two oft-misunderstood psychological terms, and asks how and from where such fundamental character traits arise, and what they are likely to do for—and to—their possessor. Cain briefly examines introversion across cultures, and finishes with some illuminating helps for intertype communication, along with ways introverts can best harness their unique gifts. As a deep introvert myself, I found the book quite fascinating, and many of its concepts resonating strongly with me. I’ve read some other works on personality types before, but this is the first major book of which I’m aware that sticks strictly to introversion and that is targeted at a popular audience. While I’m not sure that it is likely to appeal to extroverts as much as it is to those of us who appreciate the validation it gives, I found there to be some interesting ideas in terms of how the two types of people can better communicate, including, for example, specific suggestions for introverts at work and for the extrovert parents of introvert children. Nevertheless I’m conscious that some of the introvert cheerleading could be interpreted as extrovert bashing, and as such would be very interested to hear how extroverts perceive this work—there is value to it for such people, for as Cain argues, “if you’re not an introvert yourself, you are surely raising, managing, married to, or coupled with one.” Cain covers several of the numerous definitions for introversion before settling on a fairly standard working one for the rest of the book. But while part of this is a careful explanation that introversion and shyness are not the same, this fact sometimes seems forgotten throughout Quiet, which appears to set successful public speaking as the highest ideal to which introverts should aspire. I first recognized myself as an introvert when I heard a University of Utah psychologist suggest that such a person may actually be very competent in social situations, but will also be mentally or emotionally drained by their stimulation, and require solitude to recharge again. This is the essence of Cain’s working definition, and while it is definitely me, I am not shy and I really enjoy public speaking. With this perspective in mind however, I derive from Quiet that introversion is not a one-dimensional characteristic, or even one end of a personality spectrum: it is different things to different people, each of whom must take his own approach in adapting to the extroverted society in which Cain persuasively argues we live. Her term for this is the “Extrovert Ideal”, which she argues grew up in the early 1900s as the “man of action” became more prized than the “man of contemplation”, initially through the efforts of public-speaking icons like Dale Carnegie and others who held that “all talking is selling and all selling involves talking.” As Cain readily admits, this ideal is particularly prevalent in the US, and while she gives a high-level contrast with a generic Asian culture that she says still prefers quiet contemplation, this is one area of the book I felt could have used some expansion. For example, when citing studies that reveal one in two or three Americans is actually introverted, Cain somewhat reasonably concludes that “Given that the United States is among the most extroverted of nations, the number must be at least as high in other parts of the world.” Though Americans are the prime audience for Quiet, I would have liked to read more about the breakdown in other parts of the world, and would have liked more than just the chapter about Asian-Americans in Part Three, “Do All Cultures Have an Extrovert Ideal?” Indeed, as a current student of global negotiations, I read this book in part seeking insight on best practices among cultures for integrating introverts. Nevertheless, I found several interesting takeaways that could be applied in a negotiating context. One such recurring theme in the book is learning to harness just what the subtitle indicates: the power of introverts, which is obviously substantial. Introverts should be aware of their own strengths, and while most American introverts have already developed sophisticated mechanisms for faking extroversion (a necessity in a society that so values open office plans—which “have been found to reduce productivity and impair memory”—glad handing, and backslapping), others will want to be able at least to promote their particular abilities to those superiors who choose the members of a negotiating team. For example, Cain tells of a Harvard Business School student who, when playing the group-oriented “Survival Game”, a B-school rite of passage, allowed his extensive knowledge of survival to go to waste by not speaking up forcefully enough in a group of brash would-be leaders looking to make an impression; his group had a dismal finish. Cain also tells of her own experience as a young lawyer in a negotiation across the table from a group of hard-charging lawyers and executives: after the initial shock to her system of this overstimulating environment, she silently coached herself to play to her strengths: listening and asking intelligent questions to achieve understanding. Where bluster had previously failed to make headway, Cain’s quiet perseverance reminded me of the important concept of mindfulness in negotiations, which requires a high level of focus on pre-identified goals, and a persistent mental “presence” at the table, made possible through unusual levels of concentration and focus. Indeed, real understanding at a deep level can be key to successful negotiations of all types, from the purely distributive, or zero-sum kind, to more cooperative, expand-the-pie type mediations. In the first case, paying careful attention to the signals given by the other party during, and perhaps especially before, the negotiation itself, can give great insight on the most appropriate strategies to pursue. While it makes intuitive sense that an extrovert full of bluff and bluster would be best positioned to do well in this type of negotiation, the careful observations of an introvert could be invaluable, as could the patience that often comes along with this personality type. At the other end of the negotiation spectrum, each party’s ability to gain more from working together to arrive at a solution than they could get either going it alone or to the law relies in great measure on developing a solid understanding of the other party’s perspective, from its perception of the underlying issue to its goals for resolution. So while I regret that Quiet won’t likely do much to slow the relentless march of the Extrovert Ideal, there is much here for both introverts and extroverts, whether involved in formal negotiations or just those we all encounter in daily life. For introverts in particular, the validation Cain gives is valuable, and the advice, split infinitives notwithstanding, is worth remembering: “your biggest challenge may be to fully harness your strengths… You have the power of persistence, the tenacity to solve complex problems, and the clear-sightedness to avoid pitfalls that trip others up.”

In Quiet... self-professed introvert Susan Cain explores the American cultural veneration of the extrovert ideal and how extrovert-worship may be hurting American individuals, education, business and society at large. Cain delves deep into biological and psychological explanations for introverted personality characteristics (which she defines extremely broadly as "the man of contemplation"), cataloging myriad ways that introversion is linked to superior analysis, innovation and relationships. As pragmatic as she is passionate, Cain's goal is to make the world better by rebalancing power between extroverts and introverts. Quiet... delivers specific suggestions about how to cultivate equilibrium and compelling arguments about why we must. In the first section of Quiet Cain discusses how the industrialization of America and the rise of the marketing industry shifted American culture from one that valued character to a culture that worships personality. In a culture of character, admired people display cultivatable qualities like citizenship, manners and honor. In a culture of personality, society values characteristics like charm, magnetism and attractiveness. While these characteristics are associated with extroverts, they have no relationship to better relationships, greater intelligence, higher quality decision-making or job performance. According to Cain, this cultural trend has accelerated leaving up to half the population feeling exhausted, marginalized and discriminated against as team work, open office plans, presentations, hype and schmooze become ubiquitous in both schools and businesses. Moreover, ample research has demonstrated that solitude and concentration beget innovation and the best ideas--so to ignore the needs of introverts is to, in fact, truncate human potential. Cain goes on to explore various biological explanations for introversion and extroversion. She describes several studies suggesting deep biological differences in sensitivity to stimulus as well as one suggesting extroverts process dopamine differently than introverts, making them more prone to finding pleasure through the thrill of risk-taking. Cain briefly explores the cultural relativity of the Extrovert Ideal, contrasting American culture with certain East Asian cultures, concluding that introversion is valued more in certain cultures. On a personal level, I found the book to be quite interesting. It was impeccably researched, entertaining and lovingly written, though I was often distracted by Cain's deliberately broad use of the word "introvert." I have used the Myers-Briggs personality framework (which defines introversion more narrowly) extensively, and have found it to be invaluable in guiding my management decisions and interpersonal relationships. Perhaps my discomfort was driven by the effort of fitting myself into the framework, but at times I felt Cain stretched the term so that it would appropriate positive characteristics that I would not necessarily ascribe to introverts alone. The "catch all" definition that she admits to using made me feel at times as if Cain was mixing cultural orientation dimensions, desirable character traits and personality preferences, which I believe to be separate, if interdependent, dimensions. For example, Cain demonstrates that many East Asian societies do not share the American cultural veneration of the extrovert. She hypothesizes that appreciation of introversion is correlated with a greater cultural valuing of social cohesion, or a collectivist cultural orientation. However, in my 13+ years of living in sub-saharan African countries, I have found that extroversion and expressiveness can greatly support a collectivist cultural orientation and promote social harmony. Moreover, I know many extrovert who are truly caring, thoughtful and deeply loving individuals, qualities that Cain seems to assign to Team Introvert. However, in spite of these minor issues (which were more points of reflection than flaws for me) the book gives voice to a giant portion of the population that is increasingly "marginalized," by a cultural value that is already becoming detrimental to society--would the financial crisis have been so bad had more introverts been in decision-making positions? According to Cain, no, and her reasoning is hard to deny. I also appreciated her pragmatism. At heart Quiet is a travel guide through the intimate geography of the introvert's inner landscape. Cain is intent on helping introverts understand and accept themselves, as she guides all of us to increase our consciousness of introversion and extroversion and confront our extrovert bias head on. She wants us to be more sensitive to the introverts around us: after all, they are our co-workers, friends and lovers and children. Her tips are simple, but have the potential to be transformative: 1. Regulate your level of stimulation to avoid becoming over- or under-whelmed, 2. Create private spaces for reflection, concentration and synthesis--everybody needs these things to innovate, 3. Recognize that the world requires a certain level of extroversion--use your passion to fuel periodic excursions into the behaviors of extroversion (and get training and coaching to make you more comfortable in those behaviors), 4. Reformulate team work to allow both independent and group interaction: throwing a team at every problem is likely to result in inferior groupthink, 5. Shape your environment to meet your unique needs (e.g., negotiate days of working from home, schedule alone time after extended periods of extroversion, configure social situations to allow for quiet one-on-one and boisterous group interactions, etc.) 6. Recognize that both introverts and extroverts long for connection and intimacy, but they often express these needs--and handle conflict--differently. Finally, Susan Cain's overarching message is to both know and embrace who you are, recognizing that both extroversion and introversion have formidable strengths and powers, and that they complete each other. In all, Cain makes a compelling case for equal respect and increased effort to accommodate both introverts and extroverts for the good of all.

Quiet – The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain is absolute fascinating read into the inner workings of the reflective introverts that populate society. This book by Susan Cain delves into the paradigm that has been glossed over in the “Culture Of Personality”. Cain begins the book outlining the fact that we as a society have transitioned from a Culture Of Character to a Culture of Personality, which thus left us facing myriad issues from which society still faces today. The book even elucidates that the world personality was not part of our vocabulary until the 18th century and that “the idea of “having a good personality” was not widespread until the twentieth.” This goes to show that this notion is quite modern indeed. Throughout the entirety of the book the author also enumerates countless examples of research and studies that have taken place which shows the notable differences between introverts and extroverts. Its quite intriguing considering how wrong western culture has been about introverts over the last many decades, if not longer. Even the school system has been tailored to fit the ‘culture of personality’ rather than the ‘culture of virtue’. That has done a great disservice to many folks, because as the book mentions between a third to a half of all people are introverts, and yet school is not only geared to push the personality paradigm, but people that are introverts get run over by the system due to people thinking there’s something “wrong” with just wanting to do work by yourself, or perhaps in a less noisy environment that fosters greater inner growth for such individuals. In fact, the book names a few examples where parents, or people, thought something was “wrong” with a particular individual, when that was just their nature. Not only that, but introverts, in many facets, outdo extroverts due to their nature. It’s not that there are inherently smarter than them, its that their process is more efficient in many ways. Ironically enough, Cain mentions how “we perceive talkers as smarter than quiet types – even though grade-point averages and SAT intelligence scores reveal this perception to be inaccurate.” Cain also covers the interesting topic of the “Bus to Abilene,” which shows people’s penchant for following others who carry out actions – any actions. The author also covers the topic of The New Groupthink. Within her thoughts, she gives her concerns for the system, which is constantly giving precedence for group work – “team work” – all at the expense of the individual, as it claims that ‘creativity and intellectual achievement’ only come via teamwork. Nothing could be further from the truth. The author covers facts that tackle this rather incisively. This has taken place because America has wholly shifted en masse unfortunately to teachings that reflect the business community, rather than what’s best for the individual. What’s worse, Common Core will only further these agendas in order to make sure everyone’s ready to help corporations make even more profits at the expense of true learning. Let’s digress however. Another example of how introverts shine is how top performers are often the ones that have the solitude that they require that isn’t available in many working environments. When freedom of interruption is available, these people overwhelmingly perform better than in environments where excessive stimulation takes place, which hinders production/learning. Other notions examined are the one of Deliberate Practice, which can only be accomplished by being alone. This is when not only are tasks identified by individuals that are needed to be done, but when individuals push to raise their performance whilst monitoring their progress and adjusting accordingly in order to be able to achieve what needs to be done. This not only requires deep motivation, but can lead to incredible mastery of subjects. It does, however, require a great commitment in many cases if one wants to achieve true expertise. The book also covers how many extroverts were behind what took place in the 2009 economic downturn, and how introverts wouldn’t have been as careless with money. It also covers how people tend to link velocity of speech with knowledge, but how that is a big mistake. Group brainstorming electronically is also delved into, as well as the fear of public humiliation and how large of a role that plays a role in interactions between introverts and extroverts, how important temperament is, as well as the intricate subject of highly reactive children. Also the topic of pseudo-extroverts is also covered. This is important, because many people who seem rather extroverted, are in fact incredibly introverted. If you’re a teacher, a leader, a manager, or any person that needs to know the inner workings of how introverts and extroverts interact on a daily basis, and how to take advantage of each of their strengthen, then this book is definitely for you.

Quiet changed how I view introverts and made me realize how many biases there are against them. Our society values people who are outgoing and people who are shy are considered to have some sort of flaw even though that is their natural personality. I had never thought about or even realized how our society values a very “narrow range of personality styles. (pg. 3)” As an introverted person, I didn’t think I would have any biases against people who are labeled as shy. Was I wrong. Many shy people are encouraged to be social and change which gives them a feeling that something is wrong with them instead of them just having a different personality. Introversion— along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness— is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. -Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 4) My favorite thing about this book was how it showed that introverts have strengths just by being who they naturally are. An example she used was Rosa Parks who was “shy and courageous (pg. 2).” Susan Cain points out that the Civil Rights movement wouldn’t have gotten started if Rosa Parks had been an outgoing and loud person. It succeeded because she was a quiet, well respected person and the fact that she stood up for herself gained more attention because it was easier for people to realize the huge injustice of it since she was acting against her personality. Here are a few of the strengths that an introverted person naturally has: Function well without sleep (pg. 3) Good at negotiating because their mild-mannered disposition allows them to take strong/aggressive positions and be accepted more easily (pg. 8) Think before they speak or act (pg. 8, 168) Prepare more for speeches and negotiations (pg. 8) Asks lots of questions and listens intently to answers that leads to strong negotiation skills (pg. 8) Work slowly and deliberately (pg. 11) Ability to focus intently on one task and high abilities of concentration (pg. 11) Relatively immune to the temptation of wealth or fame (pg. 11) Able to delay gratification (pg. 163) Don’t give up easily (pg. 168) Leadership style that wins people over (pg. 197) Work independently which can lead to innovation (pg. 74) I loved hearing the definition of an introverted person that wasn’t framed in a negative way compared to an extroverted person. An introverted person enjoys less stimulation which is why they tend to like things like reading. They recharge by being alone while extroverted people recharge by socializing. All introverted people are not necessarily shy. I really liked Susan’s illustration of how shyness and introversion were two different things. Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not. - Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 12) There’s a quiz in the book to see which end of the spectrum of introversion/extroversion you fall on. She states several times that no one is completely extroverted or introverted. I did get 15/20 on the test which means I fall heavily on the introverted side. So this book felt very relevant to me. But even if you don’t feel like an introverted person, this book has so much value because it’s pretty much guaranteed that you know or are related to someone introverted and it can help you understand and relate to them. One epiphany I had about myself was learning that some introverted people are sensitive. There’s a study in the book about babies who had personality assessments when they were babies and again when they had grown up. They found the babies who were sensitive, who cried at loud noises and bad smells more easily turned out to be mellow, introverted adults. The babies who were easy going and didn’t react much to new things grew up to be more outgoing. It seems like it should be the other way around, but it makes sense. If an introverted baby is overwhelmed by stimulation, they choose to be around less stimulation as they become adults. I immediately called my mom when I read this study because I will never live down the stories of being the baby who was scared of the orange rug every time I sat on it, the lamp from just looking at it, and my aunt’s braces when she smiled. And when Susan Cain is talking about sensitivity she is using the psychological term. Many introverts are also “highly sensitive,” which sounds poetic, but is actually a technical term in psychology. If you are a sensitive sort, then you’re more apt than the average person to feel pleasantly overwhelmed by Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata” or a well-turned phrase or an act of extraordinary kindness. You may be quicker than others to feel sickened by violence and ugliness, and you likely have a very strong conscience. -Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 14) It’s as if, like Eleanor Roosevelt, they can’t help but feel what others feel. -Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 138) I wasn’t expecting this book to help me think about what I really want to do with my life. Introverts are more likely to ignore their own preferences for career choices. The author talks about her career choice as a lawyer and even though she was good at it, she didn’t enjoy or even want to do it. She listed three steps to finding out what you love to do. First, think back to what you loved to do when you were a child. (pg. 218) Second, pay attention to the work you gravitate to. (pg. 218) Finally, pay attention to what you envy. Jealousy is an ugly emotion, but it tells the truth. You mostly envy those who have what you desire. (pg. 218) When I went through these steps I realized that I love reading and reviewing books. Go figure after studying music and then finance in college that I would eventually come back to reading which I have loved doing since elementary school. Blogging about books has been such a great outlet and way for me to write which I also loved doing. I had to giggle when I came across this quote because my husband can’t believe some of the things I post on my blog for the world to see sometimes. Studies have shown that, indeed, introverts are more likely than extroverts to express intimate facts about themselves online that their family and friends would be surprised to read… -Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 63) If being introverted is so great, why isn’t it valued in our society? There’s an entire chapter that talks about the shift in American culture to over-emphasize the value of extroverted people that led to a devaluing of introverted people. It was very interesting. It involves industrial change, work force changes, and even parenting changes. She compares other cultures to America’s (like China) and shows how their value of extroversion is not as strong or even the opposite and how that affects their culture. The biggest thing that contributed to extroversion being over-valued has to do with the business world. Loud, fast talking people are seen as leaders even if it negatively affects others. Harvard Business School teaches that true leaders have quick and assertive answers which might have led to many of the financial crises since the slow and cautious decision makers were mostly dismissed. There was a study in the book that questioned whether extroverted people are always the best leaders. It turns out they are excellent leaders if their employees are very passive, but in a work environment where the employees are more proactive an introverted leader is actually more efficient at utilizing the knowledge and experience of their employees. You would think that as an introverted person it would be easy to parent an introverted child. That’s not necessarily true and I enjoyed the parenting tips in the book. I need to remember that my child is just sensitive to things that are new in general and not to label him as shy or anti-social. I feel like I know myself a little better after reading Quiet. I can recognize now when I’m feeling overwhelmed from stimulation and I make it a point to take time to myself to read or spend time on my own. It’s made me a lot happier. I also have been standing up for myself more, but in my own way by asking lots of questions and not being afraid to speak my mind just because I’m not a loud person. It also made me realize the social pressures I had been putting on myself and my kids. I always felt guilty for not having “enough” play dates and social time. And by “enough” I mean daily play dates. I realize now that the pace of a few times a week makes both my and my kids happy. I don’t feel pressure to have them constantly doing something with other kids anymore. Most of all it helped me realize that I am not an anti-social person. Now that I’m aware that going out with lots of friends or to parties will drain me, I make time to wind down afterwards and I no longer turn down social invitations since I understand my personality better. I feel like for me, this book accomplished what Susan Cain wanted it to. If there is only one insight you take away from this book, though, I hope it’s a newfound sense of entitlement to be yourself. -Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 16) Overall, Quiet shifted my perspective on what it means to be introverted and I learned a lot about myself in the process. I highly recommend this book.

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain is a compelling read that is difficult to put down, but in the end it is a disappointing book. Quiet offers a soothing place of solace for introverts attempting to cope with the realities of workplace structures that are increasingly characterized by their extroverted underpinnings. The book is largely premised on the author's review and interpretation of existing research, but it is also sprinkled with pleasant anecdotes and a small sample of personal interviews. The topic matter is well researched with the findings presented in a highly accessible manner. As a result, most like-minded introverts will find Quiet to be an easy, gentle, and reassuring read. While there are enticing components to Cain's book, it should not be construed as a self-help book as it has limited practical value. For introverts, reading this book will not change the realities of their daily lives. But it does serve as a reminder to introverts that it is very important for them to take regular breaks from socially noisy environments and make space for self-rejuvenation. For the (cherished few) open-minded supervisors, human resource personnel, managers, and business owners who have the temerity to look beyond current views of preferred employee personality profiles, reading this book will supply them with a worthwhile alternative perspective. In these respects, Quiet is an important book. Nonetheless, Cain's book does have significant shortcomings that are best expressed in terms of what it does not do. Quiet is presented in an emotionally regulated fashion with an overriding avoidance of the raw emotional aspects of introversion. Perhaps this emotionally regulated approach to the book is a reflection of Cain's personal interaction style. But, the author's quiet approach to overriding attitudes towards introverts within the workplace is of particular concern. The author, who is also a former lawyer, fails to let her readers know that it is unacceptable for introverts to be overlooked, excluded, disregarded, and devalued on the premise of their personality profile. Cain expresses admiration for the quiet Rosa Parks who softly but firmly said "no" to being treated differently by a bus driver whose conduct was premised solely on the basis of her race. Yet Cain, herself, lacked the courage to say "no" to being denied the same opportunities that extroverted personalities enjoy. Instead, she abandoned her law career in favour of the quiet pursuit of writing. She even recommends that introverts take similar steps to remove themselves from workplace environments that are wrong for them and enter ventures that are more suited for the introverted personality type. Contrary to Cain's premise, not all introverts can or should strive to start their own businesses or make a transition into another occupation solely in order to control the amount of social stimulation they encounter. This is unrealistic, impractical, and unwise. The reality remains that introverts are frequently overlooked as suitable job candidates. Yet, Cain fails to take a stand let on behalf of all her introverted readers. The commonplace Western preference for extroverted job candidates and the selection of same through interview questions that are designed to weed out applicants with introverted personality types, smacks of exclusionary practices. Employers that claim to be "equal opportunity employers" but simultaneously rely on personality profiling as part of their candidate screening process are merely paying lip service to such claims. Yet the author makes no mention of this and consequently neglects to address the ramifications of reduced employment opportunities to introverts. Problematically, Cain also restricts her book to a narrow demographic of the introverted profile. Little attention is divested in the realities of single introverted (young) adults and even less to mature single adults. Furthermore, the unacknowledged and untold voice of introverted seniors in Quiet is of particular concern. The author unfortunately examines the introverted personality profile through a restricted lens. Cain merely touches upon the subject of "bitter introverts" (l. 896) - the troubled souls that have repeatedly experienced the ramifications of their introversion straight on. Being overlooked and undervalued because of one's disposition can over time take a serious toll on the individual: something that "bitter introverts" know all too well. There is an element of avoidance on Cain's part to address the defiant side of introverts who suffer deeply from living in a dismissive society. The outcome of Cain's emotionally controlled soft approach to the topic of introversion is a lost opportunity to create meaningful change for the realities that introverts - who do not have the luxury of wrapping themselves in a socially protected bubble - presently endure. For such introverts the ramifications of possessing such a personality type continue to be passed over, devalued, and disrespected. Creating a publication worthy book is an achievement. But, in this instance, Quiet is a disappointment not for what it accomplishes, but for what it does not.

"There's a word for "people who are in their head too much": thinkers." I already knew before reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain that I am most definitely an introvert. Consider the damning evidence: I would rather stay home and read than go to a party (unless it's composed of close friends). I often find it painful to make small talk. I enjoy being alone. And although people tell me I have a strong personality, I loathe to be the center of attention, preferring instead to be, yes, the quiet, observant one. Yet despite knowing this about myself, I was astonished by how Quiet illuminated my personality, the personalities of those I knew, and my relationships. Reading Quiet was absolutely revelatory. It explained so much and connected so many dots for me that I couldn't stop talking about it for weeks after I read it. Quiet delves into all aspects of introverts such as the historical, psychological, biological. Cain, for example, pinpoints when our society transformed from a culture of character to a culture of personality. The world now celebrates an Extrovert Ideal - paying attention and valuing charisma and a bold personality, men and women of action over the "quieter" ones, those who prefer contemplation. She directly connects the 2008 financial collapse to our society's misplaced faith in extroverts - thinking that those who are the loudest and most persuasive should be at the helm of our financial institutions, without proof that they actually knew what they were doing. "Introversion---along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness--is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology." Growing up, and even now, I always felt that my introverted tendencies meant that there was something wrong with me. Why didn't the prospect of large, boisterous parties attract me? Why did I like being by myself so much? Why did I hate making small talk when it was so easy for others? My sister always made fun of me for having much fewer friends than she did. It turns out that all these tendencies didn't mean that I was abnormal (phew!). Most of the above stems from the fact that I need less stimulation than extroverts, who need the constant energy from socializing and interacting with other people. Furthermore, being shy and/or antisocial is not synonymous with being an introvert. I love getting together with my friends and planning dinners, movies, and activities. But unlike extroverts, I prefer smaller groups. My introverted nature likes one-on-one interactions over large parties. I prefer depth rather than breadth. Quiet celebrates the fact that I and other introverts flourish in solitary pursuits - which is a powerful affirmation. Rather than saying we need to be more outgoing or social, in other words, go against our own nature, Quiet says the world benefits from letting introverts be exactly who they are. Albert Einstein, Van Gogh, Gandhi - all introverts. "Some of our greatest ideas, art, and inventions---from the theory of evolution to Van Gogh's sunflowers to the personal computer--came from quiet and cerebral people who knew how to tune in to their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there." What's troubling is that the world - from schools to the workplace - are geared towards the Extrovert Ideal. Group work anyone? I hated doing that in school and I hate doing it now. Why? Because inevitably, either I do all the work while the group sits on my labor OR one person, usually the loudest and most persuasive, somehow dictates the direction the entire group will go. Yet my schoolmates and I were routinely forced to work in groups. In the workplace, Groupthink, as Cain puts it, is the trend, where everyone is forced to sit a room together to brainstorm ideas, even though studies show that it is less productive. I could go on and on about everything I learned in Quiet, but suffice it to say that this is a powerful, insightful, and thought-provoking must-read not only for introverts, but anyone who is close to an introvert - which is to say, everyone should read it!

I’m not a fan of writing reviews on non-fiction books, as I tend to only read these types of books on subjects that interest me (or if I’m “required” to read for work, like all those Business books for example) and find it quite difficult to “briefly” summarize my thoughts in the short expanse of a book review. This is especially true when a nonfiction book I read is not just informative, but also insightful, impactful, and causes me to think differently about certain aspects of my life. Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking definitely falls into this category! I’ve long known that I am an Introvert, which is one of the reasons why I was attracted to this book. However, going into it, I wasn’t really expecting to gain much, as I thought that this book would be very similar to others I’ve read on the same topic, most of which were informative but not what I would deem “enlightening.” Well, this book turned out to be very different from what I expected as far as “self-help” books go. Through meticulous research, interviews, as well as her own knowledge and experience, the author presented a very thorough account of what introversion is, its roots and history, pros and cons, and how it stacks up in comparisons to extroversion. While there were definitely some parts of the book that were way too “scientific” for my tastes, which made those sections a bit of a chore to get through, the author made up for it, in my opinion, through the various stories she recounted of her interactions with real-life introverts and extroverts (ordinary people whom she either met in the process of doing research for this book or friends/acquaintances she knew from before) as well as examples from the lives of famous public personalities such as Rosa Parks, Eleanor Roosevelt, Mahatma Gandhi, Warren Buffett, Dale Carnegie, etc. I also appreciated how the author not only shared her own struggles in the area of public speaking but also personally got involved with attending workshops and motivational events to gain firsthand experience that she incorporated into the book. Though I didn’t always agree with some of the points that the author made, I respected the fact that she was able to back up those points with arguments that were both thorough and made sense. For me personally, as an Asian-American working in the Corporate world, I was especially able to relate to the sections where the author discussed introversion and extroversion as it pertained to the business world (more specifically, to “Corporate America”) as well as to Asian culture. I gained quite a bit of insight in areas that, coincidentally, I had been struggling with recently. Of course, I’m not saying that this book is the solution to all of the issues I’ve been challenged with (nor do I expect it to play such a role), however the insight I’ve gained from reading this book has helped me put some things in perspective, and in turn, gives me a different angle with which to approach these issues. Overall, this was a delightful read and a highly recommended one, regardless of whether you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert. The author covers both traits in enough detail that it is actually not necessary to identify with one trait or the other in order to gain something from this book. I’m actually recommending this book for some of my colleagues to read, as I feel it is more useful in the business sector than some of the traditional business books we are usually told to read (books that I find are generally less interesting and less engaging)! (Read in January/February 2017)