Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

I love this book because it removes the mystery of communication between men and women in a huge way. I've heard all my life how utterly different men and women are, and I've heard much more about how men seem to be more lacking in understanding. I used to joke and make comments about 'poor men' which I'm sure was immediately picked up as being disrespectful. I didn't really understand what I was doing as I was still very young, but I'm glad I eventually dropped that habit. I give the credit to God because I believe His Spirit was at work in my heart changing the way I treated and thought about guys, without my understand why. I went through some painful, lonely seasons of life where I didn't know what to say to certain people present in my life, all I felt led to do was keep my mouth closed because everything I WANTED to say would have been disrespectful and offensive. I'm glad for the wisdom of God that kept me and delivered me from such a disrespectful attitude, when I didn't even know what was going on. This book was recommended to me by a woman who became my close friend on the missions field. She was a very wise woman who was married with children, both she and her husband in the ministry, with many years of marriage already behind them, and their relationship just "glowed". There was something about them that just drew me in. I am at the age where I could meet someone and be married within a short period of time, and she was so loving and patient in explaining many of these principles and why they were so, then said if I could read any book on marriage this would be the one to read. I recommend this book for everyone. I am still single, with no marriage partner even on the radar, but I feel this book has been so helpful in explaining the inner workings of both men and women that anyone old enough to consider having a boyfriend or girlfriend SHOULD read this book. It really removes the mystery of how to talk to people and proves over and over again that doing things in a loving and respectful manner will bring rewards for everyone. I especially recommend this book to those that have not yet graduated high school. This is quite the education! And will bless them far more than any academics they can learn at school. These are life lessons of an incalculable nature. Priceless. Thanks again to Dr. Eggerichs for blessing us with his experience and the wisdom he was given.

Love this book and recommend it

Life can be difficult and if your main relationship is not working smoothly there is hope that it can be way better when you discover two very important facts. This book explains what men and women normally want. There are of course many exceptions! I read this book with a highlighter in hand, then after days of reading I went back through the book reading all the especially important parts. Some of the things I paid attention to included: What are the primary needs of husbands and wives? What is the real goal of marriage? What could instantly save your marriage? Why is obeying God and working hard on your marriage the way to incredible fulfilment and joy? One of the most important things the author mentions includes this statement: "I can experience hurt, but it is my choice to hate." ~ pg. 287 What this book helps you do is refocus your efforts and realign with God's will for your life. Mainly the author points to the fact that you are in a situation where pleasing Jesus leads to a more productive and fruitful marriage. I will say that a lot of this book is lol funny and it will also make you cry a few times too. I read this book along with "This is War: Effectively praying for your husband when the enemy attacks" by Dee Johnson. I am confident these two books can change at least a woman's life as frankly what else besides prayer, knowledge and actions can? While reading this book you will realize that God will honor your efforts and help to change you into the person you were made to be. God can help you overcome even the most persistent problems in your marriage. Prayer works!!!! I am living proof that reading marriage books and trying out the advice has kept me married since 1995! There are definite ups and down in a marriage that is going on for nearly 30 years! If you are struggling, keep going because things get better with effort and unconditional love and respect. This book is right about everything! I'm living it!!!!! You will be so grateful to know all this book presents! Give the gift of a happier marriage to yourself this year! You will be so glad you did! ~The Rebecca Review, Constantly learning...

Such a good book!! Has been helpful for my marriage.

Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs is a refreshing and practical book on marriage. Part One: The Crazy Cycle In part one, the author overviews what he has coined, "the crazy cycle" which represents the vicious cycle that dominates so many marriages. Crazy Cycle 101: The husband does not love his wife as Scripture demands - The wife reacts with disrespect - the husband reacts in an unloving manner, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. The intention of the author is to demonstrate the effectiveness of unconditional love and unconditional respect. Eggerichs spends a great deal of time developing the crazy cycle. He presents the perspective of the husband and wife respectively and spells out the pros and cons of their behavior. He clearly delineates the need of every man and woman, namely, husbands need respect and wives need love. He adds, "When sorting out how to slow down that Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don't love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don't respect naturally." The key principle of part one is as follows: "His love motivates her respect; her respect motivates his love." This leads to demise of the crazy cycle. Part Two: The Energizing Cycle In part two, the author presents two models for husbands and wives respectively. Husbands are challenged to "spell love to their wives" by utilizing the acrostic, c-o-u-p-l-e: Closeness - Openness - Understanding - Peacemaking - Loyalty - Esteem. Wives are challenged to "spell respect to their husbands by utilizing the acrostic, c-h-a-i-r-s: Conquest - Hierarchy - Authority - Insight - Relationship - Sexuality. The author describes each element in details and provides good biblical support for his points. Part Three: The Rewarded Cycle Part three encourages husbands to love their wives regardless of her respect; wives are encouraged to respect their husbands regardless of their love. The author provide numerous examples in the form of letters and personal testimony about couples who have broken our of the crazy cycle and moved to the rewarded cycle. They have chosen to break free from patterns of selfishness and move toward one another in love - to the glory of God. Love and Respect is an immensely practical work that has and will continue to bear much fruit. This work will provide encouragement to couples who struggle to heed the biblical imperatives.

One of the best books on marriage I have ever read.

This book helps you understand your spouse, it really does. Even if you think you do, you don’t. Read this book and do what it says it will improve your marriage I promise. If it doesn’t, you are reading it and disregarding it. The principles this book teaches you are like fine gold.

A must read for anyone seeking a relationship! Or in a relationship! Life is simply more about love! It’s unconditionally respecting another person! So many cute funny stories so far! I highly recommend this transforming book!