As a Woman: What I Learned about Power, Sex, and the Patriarchy after I Transitioned

In 2002, I drafted the initial language which ended up adding "gender identity" to Philadelphia's Fair Practices Ordinance; this gave Philadelphia's Trans Community its first lawful protections, prohibiting discrimination based on "gender identity"/"gender expression." As the President of a Philadelphia-based LGBT advocacy group ("OutFront!"), I also lobbied (with many other fair-minded Philadelphians) Philadelphia City Councilmembers to enact this language's protections (first, to vote it out of committee, & then to pass the bill attached to this language).Along with OutFront!'s Executive Director (Doug Shaps - R.I.P.) we extended this drafted language's reach to suburban Philadelphia (the first being New Hope Bourough in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania).Almost a full decade later, I was one of the primary "behind-the-scenes" strategists (along with folks like then-Philadelphia City Councilperson James Kenney, Ms. Kathleen Padilla & Mr. Christopher Goy) & one of the very public faces (I lobbied more than half of the City Councilmembers, including two of the eventually three who voted "no," but who mentioned that I'd lobbied them on this bill's behalf; I also publicly testified before Philadelphia's full City Council body as to why this bill should pass) of a bill which would add "gender reassignment surgery" to the list of insured & covered medical procedures for City of Philadelphia employees.Why all the above in this "As A Woman..." book review?1. The above is OLD news; while both bills set precedents for many municipalities thoughout Pennsylvania & the United States, it nevertheless remains of a historic/historical nature, i.e., "OLD NEWS;" and2. There's giving speeches & talks...and then there's WORK.My (aforementioned) Couples' Non-Fiction Book Club (16+years and counting) just finished reading & then gathering to discuss "As A Woman..." The Club's membership is important as to this review; there are five couples in total -- four heterosexual couples and one homosexual couple (me and my husband of 38+ years; we are also the youngest couple and the only ethnic minority Club members [Black & Latinx].I have joyfully experienced much with Philadelphia's (& Pennsylvania's) Trans Community (I was also the first Philadelphia Department Head to hire, promote & then promote into a supervisory position a member of Philadelphia's Trans community...this individual became the City of Philadelphia's highest-ranking Trans City employee) over the past two decades; I've supported and fought alongside Trans community members, individually and collectively. So the authors' story, while differing with some details, was not at all unfamiliar to me (and not to my husband, who has been providing medical care, inter alia,to Trans community members for over three decades).In saying this, I found much to be valued in this book. Looking at life ensconced in Male White Privilege one day and not in the next has to a be a difficult issue (of course, that should not in any way, shape or form, discount (which I feel that the author only only makes perfunctory and half-hearted attempts to do so) White Female Privilege). Being married with children -- adult children at that upon transitioning! -- must make life and life decisions all that more difficult. It is in this (and in the author's authentic & credible religious/spiritual beliefs) that gives this book purpose, and gives purpose for folks to want to read (and to most certainly learn from!) this book. The minutiae of the author's day-to-day pre-transitioning life increases one hundredfold if/when readers realize this fact.While one of the Club Members (a brilliant psychologist) either may have had direct experiences and/or was most certainly very aware of & cognizant as to issues pertaining to gender identity/gender preference/gender dysphoria/etc.), the majority of the Club's members had no (or practically none/indirectly some) prior "experiences" with the Trans community & issues pertaining to this community (primarily the transitioning process/gender reassignment surgery). For these Club members, this process, which necessarily includes the author's pre-transitioning life & lifestyle, made this book an overall good read -- a conclusion with which I could not agree.I thought (and which some of the Club members who liked the book also thought) that the book was, overall, poorly written...sometimes dreadfully so. It sometimes bore the 'stench' of a an initial outline, filled in/"fattened up" by a team of editors, sent back to the author for eyeballing, rewritten, re-edited & then hastily sent to print.The author's internal misogyny was, at times, maddeningly abominable. Those "winks" as to how women view/treat other women; aren't these tired tropes buried somewhere? The author's ALLOWED to "say" this stuff BECAUSE she's a woman? ABSURD. INSULTING. In addition, the author was clearly bragging, sometimes obnoxiously so. Editor?"TED TALKS" vs. WORK.

This author doesn't sugar coat the struggles experienced by a trans person and their spouse and adult children when they transition. As someone who provides coaching for gender diverse people and their loved ones, I would recommend this book to my clients because I believe they will see many of their own struggles in this story, and also find insights into how to navigate those struggles. I believe this author's experience of being rejected by lifelong friends and colleagues from her evangelical Christian tradition, but then finding acceptance from Christians in other congregations will also be an encouraging message for other trans Christians and it affirmed my own faith journey from Evangelicalism to Progressive Christianity and beyond.

Such an interesting story, read by the author. Honest, compelling, heart-felt, spiritual, and courageous sharing by a woman who has experienced the benefits and the deferral of the white male privilege in America.As a Christian, I was moved to greater love, compassion, and understanding. The authentic voice of God streams through the pages. In Christ, we find a place to reconcile unity and diversity, and this author understands this truth deeply.This book was the best part of my vacation.

I wasn't expecting to be so inspired and moved by this book. There are so many layers of topics thoughtfully considered. Vulnerable and honest.

Courageous, beautifully written and often surprising is how I would describe this memoir. I have ordered several copies to share, as this book is not only a journey with Paiula Stone Williams through the turmoil of coming to grips with being transgender, it is also an uplifting guide to creating love and authenticity that applies universally. It will take its place in my stack of spirituality books that are part of my daily practice.

Thank you Dr. Paula Stone Williams for answering the call toward authenticity. I gained so much from reading about your lived experiences and perspectives. You give us more courage to stand up for gender equality and for LGBTQ+ rights. And thank you for validating the real challenges that women continue to face in workplaces, at home, in church, and even on airplanes!!

I have gone through some of the same issues, trials and joys during my transition. I will re-reading this book so that I can glean more good from it. Thank you, Paula.

This is a wonderfully told explanation of our life, in all of its forms. I have sent copies to friends as a gift and recommend it it others...