Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love

Very insightful.. worth reading .. a must for people who have anxious attachment

The book clearly elaborates on one different attachment style.This book will make your relationship much less troublesome in your life if you followed what is laid out in the book.

Life changer. Must read for everybody and anybody getting in relationship

Since long time I have been looking for some serious answers to the questions I had in my mind pertaining to the sufferings in close romantic relationships. I read extensively on Rational philosophy which says that adults do not NEED love in order to be happy (wanting is desirable). Somehow this philosophy was sceptically accepted by me. I could not apply this good enough in close relationship, no matter how hard I try to be rational. Then, all of a sudden it stuck me that it could be my attachment style that could be creating a lot of stress in me. This was the point my search started & I found this book. I Thank the authors for bringing so much clarity on why we suffer so much distress in our relationships due to our own attachment styles. I wish we all had Secure attachment styles, which can result in lot of happiness in relationships. But, then the world would have been a monotonous place with no drama. Nevertheless, I would wish that whether we have an Avoidant or Anxious attachment styles, we all work towards making ourselves Secure as suggested in this book to help us live in more fulfilling relationships.

It can save you from getting insane

Best thing about this book is it explains using real life example so you can relate them more. Attention to detail is a key and Assumption is a problem.

This quality copy doesn't even worth 300 rupees in street book stalls.

Bought the Kindle edition. Terribly formatted, felt like I was reading a pirated version. Content is superb though. Very engaging and thought provoking.

Interesante punto de vista, claro, práctico y con muchos ejemplos que te ayudan a entender mejor la teoría. Me gusta que se basa mucho en estudios científicos y no en la opinión de una persona.

My psychiatrist pretty much made me order this book even though in my mind I was dead set against, thinking it was going to be a waste of time, perfectly convinced I knew everything about myself and whatever kind of "attached" I was. Whoa. Was I wrong. And I hate to be wrong. Thanks, Dr. D. General Information: This book is an easy read. It's not that stuff you need to be a rocket-scientist to figure out - in layman terms it briefs you on the broader different styles of attachment: secure, anxious and avoidant. The book helps you determine what kind of attachment styles you have via reading examples of others attachment styles and there are also some quizzes if you're still not sure, all of which I found useful. I really liked that the authors presented examples of scenarios of attachment styles and encouraged the reader to read through the scenarios and guess the kind of attachment styles that were presented based on the knowledge we had already been given in the earlier part of the book. I find that a helpful way to learn. Given that I was not into reading this in the first place - the fact that it was light reading, interesting and at times fun - made me very attuned to what this book had to say. I agree it wasn't super in-depth but I don't fault this book for that because if it was super in depth I would have not even read it. My psychiatrist knows what the heck she is talking about and she choose this book for a reason - so I have zero complaints. I think she was even impressed with how much I was able to take away after reading it in one day. Personal Information: This book taught me a lot about myself. With women, I have anxious attachments - stemming from an unpredictable childhood. I pretty much tend to gravitate toward any one who acts maternal with me and cling to her. This isn't necessarily about romantic attachment for me, it spelled out a lot of patterns with all the people I have in my life: from friends, family members, partners and even my doctors. I had started to notice that I was feeling unsettled in my relationship with my fiance. I was getting annoyed at everything he did. Little things, like the way he chewed. I would get annoyed when he would text me and completely ignore him for hours at a time. Until I read this book, I didn't realize the problem was me and that with men I have a very avoidant attachment style. I was able to take the criticism to heart without feeling persecuted because the book doesn't make you feel that way even though avoidants can come off as very very harsh and cruel and indifferent. I'm now able to communicate more effectively, recognize my own patterns of behavior, identify that I am responsible for my own actions and feelings and now I feel a real sense of control and independence because I have that knowledge. I have that security. I can reciprocate with my fiance now and not be so dismissive of him and I'm able to be a bit more open without feeling that he's trying to stop me from being my own person or that he's suffocating me. I highly recommend this book. If you want to delve super deep into this attachment thing - some other reviewers mentioned additions and alternatives but I wouldn't. I am a very learned person, a very intelligent person and I didn't need anything more in depth than this book to help me to start to recognize patterns that needed to change. I think this book is best served to people who can admit where they are on the attachment continuum. I happen to be at a place in my life now, thanks to my psychiatrist and therapist, where I am able to let my guard down a bit and accept things that are difficult for me to accept.. Maybe even just six months ago I wouldn't have been ready to admit this. But given my ability to be ready and my desire to make things right in my life now that I have a child - I didn't need a guide book to tell me how to figure out the things I needed to do to fix the areas that needed work in my life regarding my attachment styles. I disagree with the reviews that claim this book doesn't offer us any insight as to why we are the way we are and what we can do about it. Several times this book mentions the theories of infant and other kinds of attachments but does say that it's not the purpose of this book to delve into that. That's good enough for me. I was able to discern from the minimal but powerful examples they give of the attachment styles of infants to their caregivers to know why I am the way I am and I wrote a whole essay about it to share with my psychiatrist.... thanks to this book. As for what we can do about it - this was also something I didn't need a road map for. This is going to sound pretty darn simplistic but maybe that's just because it is. Kind of just do the opposite of what you're doing....???? That is how this has been working for me, anyway. But of course, I relied on the examples in the book to help direct my behavior without needing a "HOW TO" direction stamped across the page. You rely on your intuition. You rely on your knowledge. You rely on your empathy and most of all you rely on your willingness to enact change. The examples in this book were definitely not apples to apples with how I am with my fiance - but it was enough of an eye-opening experience for me to say to myself: "Oh geez..... I do things like this all the time and this is how my fiance must feel. He's just reacting to my avoidance. If I start to try to be less avoidant and give him a little bit more security by acknowledging him maybe he won't feel so frustrated or taken advantage of or hurt." And that's what I started to do. I started to recognize the behaviors I have that are avoidant and started to replace them with more healthy behaviors. At first this wasn't easy. I felt like I was losing a part of myself by giving in to him but then I realized that's silly and I went back to the book for guidance and reassurance and that's when I decided to feel more secure and in control. I'm far more independent by making the right, healthy choices for our relationship than I am being a slave to my fear of dependency. I really feel empowered by this and I thank the authors for putting this out there in a way that isn't complicated but that is so very helpful.

Teoria muito esclarecedora para entender a dinâmica dos relacionamentos e construir meios saudáveis e positivos de se relacionar. Recomendo fortemente a leitura.

Bon livre et facile à lire. Il permet de mieux se comprendre sois même et sa relation de couple, qu'elle soit présente, passé ou future. Elle aborde des sujets de manières concrets et apporte de véritable réponses pour se comprendre de manière plus objective.

Very easy to understand attachment theory for people with non professional background in psychology. I give to couple in counseling. Good examples and situations.