The Second Baby Book: How to cope with pregnancy number two and create a happy home for your firstborn and new arrival

I ordered this book as someone who’s trying to decide whether to have a second baby and when. I work with lots of new mothers as a therapist, and I know from my own and others’ experiences that deciding whether or not to have a second baby can be quite anxiety provoking. It’s worth noting that I am only two chapters into this book, but I am really loving it so far. Okwell-Smith’s writing is both informed but also really reassuring. The book seems catered to those who are trying to decide whether or not to have a second child, those already expecting, and those who are in the early days and months with a second child. She conveniently outlines the most helpful chapters depending on your stage in the second child journey. Her chapter on deciding when/if to have a second baby was particularly illuminating. I would say that Okwell-Smith is slightly biased towards encouraging people to have a second baby, but only very slightly. She presents really interesting evidence on the impacts of having children with different sized age gaps but rounds it all off like the reassuring mother that I’m sure she is - reminding individuals that there really is no right or wrong decision, and that whatever hand you’re dealt with, you’ll not only cope, but likely thrive. I found it quite comforting. For those who are still torn, she provides some very practical problem solving techniques specifically designed for deciding whether or not to have a second child that I definitely plan to put in to practice. I will be sure to report back with further thoughts when I complete the book, but if you are like me and are unsure about having a second child, it might be worth a read for the opening chapters alone.

What an absolutely brilliant book! I was so pleasantly surprised with how much it covered, for example what does the research say about age gaps, the emotions you may feel when pregnant again, how to prepare your firstborn for a sibling, how you may feel about giving birth again, what practical arrangements may be helpful ahead of the birth, all the complex emotions (and guilt!) you may feel about changing your firstborn’s world, what to expect when the baby arrives and how to deal with any tricky behaviour. Plus so much more! As always, Sarah references lots of scientific studies and child brain development. She is so respectful of both children and parents and refreshingly honest in her writing about her own childhood and experiences of becoming a parent second time around. I especially loved how she changes the language our society uses around the older child being “jealous”, “difficult” “angry” when a new sibling arrives to that of a child who has just had their world turned upside down and is grieving the loss of being the only child with undivided attention from their parent(s). I am 39 and can still remember how hard I found it when my little brother was born all those years ago! I am 4 months pregnant with my second child and definitely on the emotional rollercoaster already! This book was so helpful for me to read, and I’ve read it cover to cover but intend to revisit the last few chapters again once the new baby has arrived. Thank you so much Sarah for bringing out this much needed book!

Good book when preparing for second child

Full of useful tips to get through the second pregnancy, introducing to siblings, postpartum with a newborn and a toddler, and beyond. Helped me feel much more confident and prepared to become a mum of two.

I have read a few of Sarah Ockwell-Smith's previous books and found them to be helpful but this one is a must read for anyone having an additional child. The advice contained is really practical and do-able. The way it is written means you can just read the bits that are relevant to you. I'm not always a fan of reading other people's experiences but the ones in this book are really reassurring, especially surrounding what to do with your older child if you don't have family nearby. You can dip back in when required and I think I'll get a lot of use out of this book going forward. I'm now a week into life with two children and can say this book has already been worth its weight in gold. Can't praise it enough.

This is a vital book for anyone like me...feeling delighted but terrified at the prospect of having a second child. People assume that because you’ve already had a baby that you’re both completely competent and confident with doing it all again....and with a toddler in tow! Couldn’t be further from the truth. Sarah’s book is full of emotional and practical advice, tips and support. It covers such a wide range of topics, from thinking about trying to conceive a second child, through to how you might be feeling in to the future. I read it through once when I got it, and now I’m working through it, making a note of things I definitely want to focus on. What I like most about Sarah’s advice is that it’s not about preventing or changing things that happen, but more about understanding your feelings, the elder sibling’s feelings, and having realistic expectations. Thank you for such a useful and reassuring book!

Great purchase

The content of the book is great, but it is a real pity that it is 100% focused on mothers. It has been very frustrating for me (a millennial dad that is willing to do his part) to see how it only talks to woman.

Super helpful when we are expecting our second born. It speaks right into my concerns and general wonders. It also gives great reminders and tips about parenting two kids!

My husband and I are currently TTC our second baby. I came across this book because I am signed up to Sarah Ockwell-Smith's email newsletter. It has come at the perfect time. After spending lots of time googling "second pregnancy", I haven't found much written on the subject. As usual, Sarah writes in a comprehensive way - full of personal anecdotes as well as research - and is very informative as well as calming. She covers everything from the decision to have a second baby to sibling rivarlry, to deciding to have more than two children. I like that she also includes a section on dealing with a previous loss of a child. Since it covers so many areas, the book acts as a good resource for dipping in and out of and reading the section that is currently relevant to you. I read it from start to finish because I found it so interesting, but I think I will definitly re-read sections as our second-child journey progresses. I would highly reccomend this book to anyone thinking about a second child, as well as those already pregnant with or who already have a young second baby.

Loved it. Great book. Gave me lots of different perspectives to consider and well written. :-)