When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing

This book helped me so much after my dog of 16 years died recently. It is an easy read, well written and only around 80 pages. The interactive section gave me an opportunity to write down special memories of my dog so I'll never forget them. Some of them made me chuckle as I was writing them as I'm sure they'll do years up the road. It helped me mourn my loss properly; explained the difference between grief and mourning, and validated the sadness I was feeling. This book was so helpful to me that I recommended it to others I know who have recently lost beloved pets.

Nothing in this world could have prepared me for the unexpected death of my pet. One morning, I found my beloved Choly dead. I remained in a state of shock for many days. I perceived neither hunger nor sleepiness, neither a need for coffee nor a need for water. "When Your Pet Dies" offered me invaluable insight into the grieving process. What I also liked about this book were the exercises it provided us with: it asked us to write about our first encounter with our pet, our most treasured moments with our pet, and other things we wanted to share. I spent many, many hours writing about my experiences. I also spent many hours reading and re-reading important paragraphs in the book that I had highlighted during my first read. Needless to say, I spent hours and hours shedding tears of grief. What type of pain is worth acknowledging? This book will reassure you that the answer is entirely up to you. No one in your life is entitled to tell you that you cannot grieve your deceased pet or that you cannot allow yourself to celebrate and remember your pet's life. This book offered me tremendous comfort. I felt proud that I was allowed to privately, intimately, and painfully mourn Choly's sudden death. Until this day, I still choke up when someone asks me how Choly and his littermate are doing. I hope he did not suffer during the hours preceding his death. I understand that every variation of pain is different for each individual. If you have difficulty connecting with someone who understands pet loss or if you simply feel the need to grieve privately (as was my case), I would recommend this book to you.

I lost my best friend, Brookiyn, a black and white English Springer Spaniel. I had her for 14 years, and I am having a very hard time with her loss. I miss her terribly and needed to hear how to heal. I know it will take a very long time as she was a very integral part of my life.This book has helped by informing you that you are not alone. Some people relate more to animals than to human beings. It's just how it is. She was part of my family. I wonder about death and where one goes. I've learned how to remember the happy times with her. I also took alot of videos early on and it has helped me to see her once again.

Losing your pet sucks. It just sucks. This book is so far the best one I've read in the 3 1/2 months since having to say goodbye to my sweet little feline miss a week shy of 18 years old after a years long fight against CKD. It was tough finding a book that fit. This was practical, kind, and comforting. It has some helpful prompts but isn't a glorified journal. It's not overly concerned with religion/spirituality or an afterlife. It's for you, here, now. The one left behind, trying to continue forward. A good companion is Sara Baders The Book of Pet Love & Loss, a collection of anecdotes from celebrities/public figures with some original work.

I bought three different pet loss books after we had to put our almost 14-year old labrador to sleep in August, and this is the book I kept. I liked it so well that I ordered a copy for each of my young adult kids. This is a short book, with chapters on mourning, remembering, and healing. Each chapter addresses the very real grief that we experience when a pet dies, and the author is so wonderful about acknowledging how important our pets are to us, and that our grief is real, just like when a person dies. The book includes little stories from others whose pets have died and also touches on the feelings we have when we have to put a pet to sleep, when a pet dies in an accident, etc. And, there is a section where you can write your memories of the pet. Our dog's death was (and still is...) heartbreaking, but this book has helped. I keep it on my bedside table, and reread sections when I need a little comfort.

This is an excellent book. A very easy read with all the right information in a very concise format. Dr. Wolfelt walks you through the stages of mourning, introduces ways for you to remember your pet including a section where you can write down your memories and thoughts to help express your feelings and honor your pet's life. Then he teaches you how to reconcile your grief and move forward with your life. The book also includes ceremony ideas and ways to memorialize your pet. It even includes thoughts on when it's the right time to get a new pet. The book ends with "The Pet Lover's Code", intended to empower you and help you heal. I have found this book to be an enormous help and comfort. I have already read it several times, and each time I feel I am receiving more ideas and more help for my grief. I recommend this book for anyone who has just lost their beloved pet. It will help!

This is a wonderful book for any pet owner in mourning. I lost my boy mid December, it’s almost been a month. I’ve been reading this book trying to find some positivity. It’s been very very hard for me without him. My boy Sid was the love of my life, my entire world. My heart will never be the same without him, but this book helps me understand all the changes and emotions I’m currently going through. It includes short stories from owners who previously lost a pet. It also includes pages for you to write recommend memories, or topics about your loved one, even insert photographs. I keep this book right next to me on my night stand by Sid’s urn and little shrine I have for him. This is definitely a recommend must have for any pet owner in loss. My condolences to each and everyone of you. My heart goes out to all of you.

I discovered this book when I lost my 2d dog to cancer. She was a rescue and had been with me only 2.5 years - cancer took her in 9 weeks. The grief was overwhelming, both the anticipatory grief as I watched her health failing and the actual grief when she was gone & my heart was broken without her. This book validated that grief and gave me permission to feel it without concern if others thought it was silly - it's a natural reaction to the wonderful, close connection I had with her and is a testimony to what a wonderful dog she was. This book helped me work through the grief process and get to the other side in a healthy way and I wish it had been available to me when my first dog died. I loaned my copy of this book to a friend when she went through this sad process with her beloved dog and she said it was a great help to her too. If you are hurting because your pet has died, get this book. It will help you grieve & help you heal.

I've lost my cat, she was my best friend. I felt guilty for being in such grief and this book really helped me . I understand that grief and mourning it's a process and I need to work in practical ways to heal myself. The stories are lovely and sweet, the tips and exercises are practical and trully helpful.

Alan Wolfelt’s work on grief has been something I have appreciated professionally since I learned about him 5 or 6 years ago. Now, on the passing of my own beloved dog, I had a personal opportunity to make use of his work - and I am so very grateful for this book. The book is short, easy to read in brief sittings. Wolfelt’s teaching on grief and mourning is excellent, and his assertion that our grief over the loss of our animal companions is just as valid as grief over the loss of humans is so affirming and reassuring. The journaling questions were very helpful to me and I am going to treasure these written remembrances of my dog in the years to come. One other reviewer said something like “if you get only one book on grief over the death of a pet, get this one!” And I agree (though I have to admit I didn’t read many others… but I didn’t need to)! Thank you reviewer for that excellent recommendation. (That said, I will also add that the children’s book “The Invisible Leash” is also very meaningful. And “Sacred Sendoffs,” written by an animal chaplain, also has a unique perspective and helpful information.) This book was written in 2004, so the one thing that might be worth updating if a 2nd edition ever comes out is replacing the use of the traditional phrase “pet owner” throughout the book. Though it is interspersed with other phrases like “animal companion,” “animal family member,” “pet parent,” - “owner” for me doesn’t accurately reflect the human/other-than-human-animal bond. But to be fair in 2004 I don’t think as many folks were thinking about that sort of language as they are now. And it is clear throughout the book that Wolfelt values the human/animal bond deeply, even sharing incredibly meaningful stories of his own beloved furry family members and his own experience of grieving their deaths. He gets it. I’ll be getting this book for others in both my professional and personal life. Highly recommend.

A very nice book, with a practical approach, helping take you or others through the stages of grieving and mourning. Definitely recommend it.

I didn’t find this book useful following the loss of my cats. The writing is far too human-focused (what animals do for us etc.) and the stories from various people who had lost companion animals are overwhelmingly about dogs and horses, with an odd fish thrown in. And I am sorry but losing a fish after a few days simply isn’t the same as losing a cat companion after almost 2 decades. I think there was one story about a cat. It also don’t find other people’s stories of their animals’ disease and demise useful or necessary. I find them mostly triggering. This book could have been written much better.

This booklet helped me a lot when my cat died in November 2013. Besides basically being a reliable "guide on grief", it has various people's personal stories peppered throughout (no more than a paragraph to a page each), some of which brought me to tears. The one about the Beta fish, for example ? I know, it's a fish, but something key that the mother writes in that story is possibly one of the most achingly true--but also kinda beautiful--things about the relationship between owner and pet. The book allowed me to take time out of my day to process my grief. After he died, I thought I had handled it well, was processing just fine. But many of us tend to brush past the event and then it's onto the next thing, because when life is busy it tends to sweep us up in its current. I did the affirm-life-after-tragedy-by-grabbing-life-by-the-balls-and-enjoying-myself-to-the-fullest thing after my cat died, predominantly by befriending an up-all-night partier a couple weeks after and losing myself in that for a few months. I don't regret that, this guy's gone on to become a good friend. But those quiet bus rides back and forth from meeting up with him downtown, during which I would pull out this book and read a passage or chapter or two ? Provided the healthy balance between livin' it up and dealing with grief. I do miss my cat when I think of him, 'specially when I come home and wanna scoop him up, or when sitting in my chair and wishing for a lap cat...this barely scratches the surface...