Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts

I’ve dealt with intrusive thoughts since I was a young teen (of course, at the time I didn’t know there was a name for them- I just thought I was insane.) They have varied in theme. A few weeks ago, I was triggered by something in the media that popped a thought into my head that threw me off very badly. It caused panic attacks that kept me up at night. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t function at all. My husband would get home and I would just sob because I couldn’t cope. I was stuck in the OCD trap of mental rumination of asking and answering question after question with reassurance that only made the thought grow stronger and come up with “even worse” what ifs. I could recognize that it was an intrusive thought, but I had zero idea of what to do about it. Recognizing that it is intrusive is just, unfortunately, not enough. I was so desperate and hopeless and I was starting to think I wouldn’t have a happy future because of this thought- or a future at all. I truly felt like I was in the trenches of hell. I discovered this book after doing some research. I read the negative reviews and almost didn’t purchase it. I decided to anyway, and I am incredibly happy I did. The negative reviews aren’t giving this book the credit it deserves. This book is much more than just “ignoring the thought”. In fact, you’ll learn that actively trying to ignore it is actually fueling it. This book starts by teaching you about the normalcy of intrusive thoughts and will take you through some types that people have. It WILL be distressing to some people who don’t experience thoughts of such severity. I personally do, so it was somewhat comforting to see. There are sexual, harmful, etc. There are unfiltered examples of these thoughts which I am very happy about, because for most people, myself included, Intrusive thoughts can be incredibly graphic. The authors then begin to teach you about the *reaction* to the thought creating an anxious hurricane within you, not the thought itself. It WILL be hard to grasp this concept. Stay strong. You will learn about myths about facts that you may believe, and that I believed when I first started reading the book. There is a Q and A about these thoughts that answers common questions such as “why do the thoughts feel like impulses?” And “I get so scared and the fight to control myself feels so real. Why?” This was incredibly eye-opening for me. I think everyone needs to hear what the authors have to say about that phenomenon. Essentially, it is an anxiety-based illusion, but they get more into the science of it that is super important for intrusive-thought-sufferers NEED to hear. This aspect of experiencing intrusive thoughts can be the most challenging for many. Next is a section that I consider to be the most helpful. It goes over the actual process in the brain that creates to and reacts to these thoughts that makes them such a b*#*# to deal with. Once again, incredibly eye opening. I really started to understand why I was having such a hard time with this thought and why I was panicking and running around in a frenzy when it would pop up. They explain why common strategies that we try to use just don’t work. They give the thought too much power. Even trying to tell yourself the thought is false or having a negative reaction to it actually encourages it to stay by telling it that it is significant. There is so much more that goes into it so BUY this book to learn more about this, but as I’ve said so many times, it’s eye-opening. STOP reassuring yourself. Absolutely none. Not even “that’s false” or “I would never do that”. It does not help, even though you think it is the right reaction to such awful thoughts. Trust me on this, I struggled with this at first too. The authors give names to the voices in your head that grapple with the thoughts and really do a wonderful job at showing you how the questions you try to answer after analyzing the thought (worried voice) are never going to be satisfied by your answers or reassurance (false comfort). They make up dialogue between the two about different thought categories and you will begin to see how this creates a chaotic cycle within your mind. Finally, they start telling you what to do. It’s too much to get into, but it DOES take courage and strength. They lay it all out for you. They will tell you what to do. It is very simple, but it takes a lot of work on your part. They also touch on ways you can bring the thought up and practice without waiting for it to pop in. This is what we are all scared of: exposure. But trust me, they will tell you what to do both when the thought is existing on its own and when you are purposefully bringing it in to practice what they are teaching you. Stick with it, trust the authors and trust yourself most of all. It SUCKS. It’s hard. It will seem counterintuitive. It takes tremendous strength and bravery. They will tell you what you will feel and how to handle it. The anxiety will be intense- they will tell you what to do and how to do it. I have hope that with this book you will learn about your entanglement with your thought, what to do about it, and build tools for an encounter with a future thought. I am nowhere “cured” and never will be. That’s not the goal. I am actually still working with the thought that I have been haunted by the last few weeks. It takes practice and courage. I am still working on my recovery and it will be a journey. But for the first time in a month, I feel hopeful. Buy this book. Be brave. Thank you to the authors for this gem.

I will keep this as a night-stand book to refer back to regularly until the habits are natural. Explains, in-detail, why your attempts at stopping the thoughts keep failing. Shares different information than I've never received from a therapist (even CBT-trained therapist). As a Christian, I am cautious with psychology books; sometimes they take a purely humanist perspective (denying any spiritual realm). I found this to be helpful, neutral, and sensitive in explaining how combatting irrational, intrusive thoughts with an aggressive/fighting disposition (even with using prayer and Scripture) can mistakenly cycle more anxiety by giving the thoughts weight. You can trust God, but also, unintentionally, be feeding a cycle of anxiety by validating intrusive thoughts; the authors speak about how sometimes people have a crisis of faith from doing this. Purchased "Needing to Know For Sure" as soon as I finished this. Will likely buy the "Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety" too. Here are a few notes I made about the book: I recognize that whoosh was "first fear." I can’t control first fear. This is the amygdala doing its job. It’s normal. First fear can be caused by subconscious thoughts. But thoughts are just thoughts. Thoughts are not facts. Thoughts feel real only because of the emotion I place on them. I will not explore, entertain, or try to solve a problem connected to the thought. I will allow and accept the thought. By validating if it’s true or false, I give weight to the thought. I will not give False Comfort a voice because it feeds Worried Voice and creates more anxiety. You can’t reason with Worried Voice because, unrealistically, Worried Voice demands 100% assurance when tunnel-visioned. I choose to "accept and allow” the thought, which is more of an attitude than technique. I will float above the fray by removing myself from a turbulent experience: holding a neutral, third-party perspective on my thought; it is the opposite of entanglement. Floating is a non-distressed, uninvolved, and non-judgmental perspective. You view the thoughts from an emotionally-removed perspective. The feeling of urgency that comes from intrusive thoughts is a false message; allow time to pass with the thought—in an unrushed accepting response —is how to stop it. Emotional discomfort does not mean real danger. The thought that it might come back is just another intrusive thought. It does not matter if a meaningless thought comes back. The most effective ways to rob thoughts of power is to continue doing what you were doing before. Acceptance is an attitude of allowing the thoughts and not a technique for stopping them. If I am checking if I’m having the thoughts, I’m not accepting. Acceptance is when I don’t care whether the thoughts are there or not because they are unimportant or worthy of attention and because they don’t matter. This reduces anticipatory anxiety, reduces avoidance, and cultivates okayness in the mind.

Absolutely life changing. If you have anxiety and have ever experienced intrusive thoughts or worries, or even THINK you might, buy this book. I read this book cover to cover in 2 days and plan to read it again. I plan to email the authors to thank them. As a nurse I think very logically, and having a physiological and psychological explanation as to what occurs in the brain and then specific tools and exercises to practice retraining how your brain processes information and reacts to thoughts was exactly what I needed. This book was truly a lifeline I wish I’d had many years ago. If you’re on the fence, just buy it. You won’t regret it.

The mind can be an interesting place. I especially love my thoughts when I'm reading and I'm able to organize my thoughts into a review. That seems creative and productive. What I don't like is when I leave the house and my mind says: "Did you turn off the curling brush?" Of course when I go back and check I always have unplugged it and it is put away. So why does the mind specialize in creating anxious thoughts that take up time and energy. What purpose could there be? This book gives clues as to how the mind works. The mind sometimes feels like it has a mind of its own. What if there was a process that would alleviate mental suffering and cause these types of intrusive thoughts to mean nothing? Anxiety seems to be what most people are experiencing these days in our fast-paced, stressful world. Anxious thoughts are quite common and everyone has them. The trick is to know how to deal with them on a daily basis. The authors of this book believe there is nothing wrong with you (with a few exceptions at the end) and that you have actually trained yourself to deal with negative thoughts in the wrong way. What you've probably been doing is engaging your mind in a battle and therefore reinforcing the thoughts so they never go away. I tried the simple technique in this book and it was like the thoughts and images melted away. I felt less anxious almost immediately when I tried the technique and understood the psychology. Some people have said that "thoughts are things" but really they are just "thoughts passing through." If you want to manifest reality you have to do a lot more than just think. This book emphasizes how we can make intrusive thoughts mean less and not worry about them so much. So if you are dealing with anxiety or OCD, this book might help. If you are having suicidal thoughts however, please contact a medical health professional as soon as possible. You may need medication to deal with your thoughts and anxiety. Don't be afraid to get help if you really need it. ~The Rebecca Review P.S. The last time I left the house I did not have the thought. Yay. Maybe this method really works. I have been just saying to myself: "That is just a thought, it is not important." and then I say: "Whatever!" It seems to be working. Works for all other unwelcome thoughts too. The trick seems to be making the mind realize that each thought is not equally important. This book is a key part of the puzzle of figuring out the mind. P.S. This book also has some information on lust and I think the best source for information on that is Jesus. This book is a bit soft on the topic.

This book is currently helping to change my life. I have been a sufferer of various kinds of OCD all my life and am over 40. I have gone to therapy off and on all my life, I was fortunate enough to be able to do that, when I know others aren't. And I would have periods of great mental health and relapse into depression and intrusive thought. I dealt with all manner of OCD, but harm OCD was the one that got me the most. (It's fear that you may hurt yourself or someone else, not out of desire, but out of your control, not even because of anger or the like, you just see the thoughts in your head playing out and it frightens you it may happen.) I had never experienced it, that I recalled, and I went through all the thoughts that I would later find out( much through this book) were very typical of this form of the illness. What is wrong with me, am I crazy, am I a bad person? I have never done anything to hurt myself or anyone else, I'm not even mad, why is this happening now, or at all? It made me lose weight, miss work, alienate friends and so on. But, the truth is, I'm not a bad or dangerous person, and neither are you. The fact you have anxiety over these thoughts and you're looking up this book tells you you're going to be okay and want help, but, before you realize that, it can be scary, very scary. There were even times it frightened me so much, that I felt like, if this was who I was becoming or who I was going to be, I was better off dead, and considered suicide. Fortunately, I had people around me that cared, and, at the end of the day, wanting to live and have my life back, I told them my thoughts, which was terrifying to do, and not immediately understood by them, but, in the end, they came together to help me, along with my Dr and friends. Never choose the path of giving up. Every life is precious and that includes yours. There are people that care for you, even if you don't see it right now, and there is help and hope, I assure you. My doctor suggested getting a book on the issue. After searching, I came across this one that was always highly regarded. I'm not always the fastest reader, and I was not optimistic it would help me, but this book was so good, I read it in one day. They don't beat around the bush with the examples. Usually, examples will feel like, well, sort of, but that's a lighter, more optimistic version of what you're feeling, not this. This is, you probably feel, think, see this horrible thought of xyz and you're sick over it, and want it gone. And I was like yes! Then it went into why it wasn't going away, what you're doing wrong, which was almost everything I was doing, and you probably are too, and how to change that pattern of thinking. And I can tell you, it works. It's not an instant cure all, you will have good days and bad and it will take work, but I truly believe, with continued work, these techniques and others CAN help you get control of your OCD and take control of your life back. I have always loved helping people with mental problems like this and others. Years ago, my doctor said to me, did you ever think of becoming a psychologist, I think you'd be really good at it? Well, some years later, I hold a bachelor's in psychology and am almost to my MS in clinical mental health counseling. They want you to pick an area to specialize in. I was having trouble doing that, but now I know. I want to specialize in OCD, all it's subsets, intrusive thoughts, and especially harm OCD. I not only want to treat OCD for my clients, I want to find a root cause and and eventually, a cure. I know it sounds far fetched, but just like anything else, it has a or various root causes, and with advancements in science and tech, hopefully one day, we can cure this illness and help millions around the world.Or, at the very least, find methodologies to take it down to barely intrusive levels. Huge recommendation. Even my psychologist says this book is excellent. It will change your life.

I have suffered immensely from these kinds of thoughts my entire life and have read MANY self-help books in this general issue area (fear, anxiety, frightening thoughts, obsessive worry, etc.). MANY. All of these books were of some small help in some minor way. However, many seemed confusing and somewhat vague, often not doing a deep enough dive to really clarify what they were trying to say, or how they could help in a tangible way. In some cases, when they did attempt the deep dive, they did not present a clear and concise explanation, or "how to" method to make it work. As an author, if you know you are trying to explain a somewhat nebulous and esoteric concept then you REALLY need to spell it out for the reader if you expect them to comprehend it. I believe this is a common shortcoming in numerous books of this nature. Sometimes, people who are highly educated seem like they are writing more to impress their colleagues in academia than they are to communicate to the audience they are ostensibly trying to help. Please just tell me in as few words as possible - and in layman's terms - what is happening in my brain and body when I have these troubling thoughts and what to do about it. Give me a clear, step by step process I can easily follow and do not lard up the book with a bunch of irrelevant stories about what happened to other people. In my view, this book is the most straightforward, easy to understand publication I have ever come across on the subject of intrusive, fearful, catastrophic thoughts; what they are, what they are not, what works in dealing with them and what doesn't. It says just enough without saying so much that you have difficulty figuring it out. You do not have to hunt and peck for morsels of truth that resonate with you that are hidden within a bunch of mostly useless information. Perhaps the best thing about this book is that it is comparatively short and to the point. There is no miracle cure, no magic wand to stop this kind of thinking when you have engaged in it your whole life. This book offers a solid explanation as to what is happening in your brain and a coherent process as to how to deal with it; a workable and hopeful way forward. Not an overnight cure, but an understandable path. I am glad I bought it.

Before getting this book, I kept researching all over the internet how to help my sister. She constantly kept getting very dark intrusive thoughts, and it was severely debilitating. She couldn't sleep, refused to eat, would throw up, lost weight, and had severe panic attacks. She literally looked like a zombie at times because she would disassociate very often from her thoughts. At times, she wouldn't even talk to me or the family. It was like she was trapped in her mind drowning in her own thoughts. She would find ways to help her intrusive thoughts like praying, fasting, or asking for some confirmation from the family to prevent her from further destroying herself. It was so terribly damaging to her mental state that she even had thoughts of suicide, which really terrified me. She would wake me up in the middle of the night crying and BEGGED me to help her make her thoughts stop. I didn't know what else to do. We even tried looking for a psychologist to help her, but at the time, it took such a long time to schedule an appointment with one. That was when I found this book, and I immediately bought it because we couldn't wait any longer. I gave it to her to read, and once she read it (even just from the first chapter) she completely changed. Just reading other people's experiences made her feel that she wasn't alone and that there was an answer to her intrusive thoughts. The descriptions and metaphors for intrusive thoughts really gave her a clear understanding to her own behaviors and mental state. Ever since she read that book, she has not gone back to that damaging state of mind. She has learned how to restructure her thoughts, has taught herself that these thoughts are not her own, and has learned coping mechanisms of how to deal with her intrusive thoughts. She has become a whole new person and is now back to her happy self. I can't thank the authors of this book enough! This book was a God-send for my sister, and it completely changed her life for the better. Please read this book if you are having similar experiences, because it really helped change my sister's state of mind. If it can change someone dear to me who was initially suicidal to someone who is now happily living their life, I believe it is definitely worth the read!!

Full disclosure, I’m still in the throes of intrusive thoughts and wouldn’t really consider myself “recovered” yet, but this book has put me on the fast track to conquering my seemingly endless intrusive thinking. A few days ago I was feeling particularly desperate because of a spiral of “big issue” thoughts I was having. I was beginning to lose hope in ever feeling “normal” again, so I was googling about intrusive thinking to find some kind of relief. I found a blog post by Dr. Seif and Dr. Winston and saw them mention this book. I hurried on over to Amazon, read all the positive reviews, and purchased it almost immediately. Boy, am I glad I did. The reviews are not exaggerations at all. This book lays out all the ins and outs of intrusive thinking and gives you a roadmap to overcoming it. Within the first three chapters I was already feeling an immense sense of relief, because I saw myself in everything they were explaining. I felt seen, and like I was no longer alone. It reignited my hope, and I now feel confident that I can get back to a more peaceful state of mind. Having labels for the battle going on my brain has already done a lot to alleviate my anxiety (Worried Voice and False Comfort, I’m looking at you). So, I 100% recommend this book for anybody struggling with intrusive thoughts. I know I have a ways to go yet, but I will be forever grateful to Dr. Seif and Dr. Winston for giving me the tools I need to begin this process. The 9-ish dollars I spent on this book have been the best spent $9 of my life.

Very Good and very important content.

This book was a game changer for me. Absolutely recommend if you experience intrusive thoughts and think that you’ve “tried it all” to make sense of them. A must read. This book helped me save myself from a seemingly never ending spiral

Very interesting read. Gave me more understanding.

Excellent book. Very useful

I would whole-heartedly recommend this book to anyone getting stuck and weighed down by upsetting unwanted thoughts and the downward spirals that often follow - or a loved one trying to understand more about the condition and how to help someone who is experiencing it. For context. I have, since my teenage years - and on and off over the decade since - struggled with unwanted intrusive thoughts, from the bizarre to the truly harrowing. I really do know how devastating this condition feels when you’re in it, but I want to share that I have gotten better and continue to get better - so of course I want as many people as possible to know that they can too. Discovering this book, and discovering from it the work of Dr Steven Phillipson about different subsets of OCD (lots of videos from him on YouTube via the Made of Millions channel), have together been a real turning point in my mental health. This book firstly makes clear that you are absolutely NOT alone, insane or a bad person, and that these thoughts are no reflection of your character whatsoever. It explains how this condition presents itself in different people and why we get “stuck” on certain topics (examples including violence, sex, peadophilia, insanity, ill-health, existential questions and religion etc). It shows scientifically what’s happening in the brain when we’re experiencing the condition, and goes on to provide techniques for how to disempower it. Huge thanks to the authors. This book has given me a lot of compassion for my younger self, and helped provide me with the tools to break the cycle.