The Way I Used to Be

The Way I Used to Be is a powerful story about trauma, and misunderstandings that made me genuinely angry at times. It shows how much better things could have been with open communication. A tough but important read that stays with you.

Slight/minor spoilers.This book is just...it's just everything. I felt everything the characters felt. I was heartbroken, angry, frustrated, I felt betrayed and astonished. I just.. so many tears were shed. I texted my niece multiple time to tell her what I was feeling. She recommended the book, so I felt it was only fair to share the journey with her as I read it.Eden is such an impactful character. She goes from a 14 year old bright, shinning, happy young girl to a young woman looking for a way to free herself. Her path was tumultuous and heartbreaking. Each part of the story takes her one step further down a dark road. Seh breaks my heart so many times while simultaneously frustrating me with the decisions she makes. She hurt so many people, but no one more than herself. However, she find her redemption, her key to freedom, and she finds the strength to grab it with both hands, even while those hands were trembling with worry and doubt.I'm glad that she was able to reunite with her brother and clear the air with Amanda, but I'm sad that the book ended before it showed whether she was able to make amends with Stephen, Mara and even Cameron. I would have at least like to see her and Mara reunite. I also would have liked to read about Kevin getting what he deserved. Maybe an epilouge that showed many months/years into the future for a quick update on everyone. Perhaps Mara and Cameron stayed together and maybe Eden and Josh could have found their way back to one another. The ending was fine, it was just really abrupt and left a lot of questions unanswered.All-in-all, the book was very good. It hits you in the heart and makes you really care about the characters.

"The Way I Used to Be" by Amber Smith is a poignant and powerful exploration of trauma and recovery through the eyes of a young woman named Eden. After a devastating incident with her brother’s best friend shatters her sense of safety and identity, Eden's once straightforward life becomes a complex web of confusion, anger, and silence. As she grapples with the emotional fallout, she buries her pain and struggles to adapt to the changing landscape of her adolescence.Told across four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year—Smith intricately weaves Eden's journey through the challenges of growing up, including the realities of first love, heartbreak, and the often tumultuous nature of friendship. While the narrative dives deep into the scars left by trauma, it also highlights Eden's resilience and the gradual realization of her own strength. As she learns to confront her past and embrace her survival, "The Way I Used to Be" serves as a powerful testament to the complexities of healing, making it an essential read for anyone seeking understanding and hope in the face of adversity.

This book is so good. Most books gradually build up to things but this one pushes you off the cliff and you’re in a free fall with the main character. Very heavy and very triggering but oh so good. Just shows how one moment can change you forever.

This book is honestly amazing. My favorite book as of right now. It explores the way traumatic events gives one’s life a whole 180, how just one thing can either build or destroy someone’s life, a few words, a few actions, brings years of connections tumbling down. Traumas causing you to change yourself mentally and physically. Very sad book yet so amazing, 10/10 definitely recommend.

written from the viewpoint of a freshman to senior in high school, Eden’s experiences and how they change her into the kind of person she couldn’t ever imagine being; angry, lonely, pained, secretive, and not being able to tell anybody what happened to her, makes her want to be a hard, unfeeling, uncaring, hurtful person. As I read through this book I just wanted to hug Eden and yell her “it is okay to tell”. And the last line of the book is memorable and beautiful.