I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times

I just finished this transformative book. It is the antidote to so much of the angst and anger on social media...to so much of the animosity and standoffs between former friends and family...to the conformity of thought and feeling that is becoming increasingly expected in our society.⁣ ⁣ In short, "I Never Thought of It That Way" is the definitive handbook of civic engagement, whether it's talking, listening, expressing your own feelings or processing the feelings of others. It is the blueprint to rejuvenating and re-conceiving our democracy to be stronger than ever as we head into the middle of the 21st century.⁣ ⁣ The internet is confronting each of us with an almost infinite array of viewpoints and beliefs...of feelings...which may seem inarguably reasonable when they arise from within our own bubble of existence but can seem patently unreasonable when arising in others’.⁣ ⁣ This current tension in our society is, in many respects, healthy and necessary to find reconciliation; but very few, if any, have addressed it other than for their own self-serving purposes. ⁣ Monica’s book is what our moment needs. While not hiding her personal “blue” political leanings, you can tell that her heart...her mind...her soul...are unequivocally dedicated to a higher calling: how we can live and work and govern better together. Not just despite our differences of belief but leveraging our differences to build an even tighter, more cooperative and collaborative social fabric.⁣ ⁣ She shares so many insights and tips and inspiration that I won't even dare to summarize them here. You simply have to read the book! ⁣ Monica does it with an accessible writing style; personal and informative anecdotes; unique, sometimes incisive but always forgiving observations; practical strategies; and unqualified yet realistic optimism.⁣ ⁣ I could go on but if you want to see our country and its people for what it is and not for the politicized conflicts stirred up by a selfish few, please consider reading this book.⁣

This is a gem of a book. As I was reading and listening (I also got the audible version, which is great!) I kept thinking "if only we could clone Monica, this country would be so much better off!" Sadly, that's not possible, and I know this sort of book is probably preaching to the choir, but I'm still very glad I read it. Guzman's book has two themes. First, she makes the case that we live in very partisan times where we can't hear each other because of all the screaming. This isn't a hard sell but she still makes good clear arguments and gives us data to prove her point. Next, and this is the bigger part of the book, she hits the problem from various angles, with her central point being: We can talk to each other if we only use the right tools, and boy does she have a lot of tools her toolbox! (As I read, I was jotting down notes so I could use some of these smart tools in the future.) I won't write an extended review, but the two tools she keeps coming back to are a) be curious, truly curious, and b) see the human being behind the ideas you loathe. People have reasons for doing the things they do. Her Mexican-American immigrant parents voted for Trump, and that sometimes upset her, but that doesn't make them evil or stupid. Finally, she keeps the book fresh by offering lots of examples from her career as a journalist and conversation facilitator. The real people on these pages—Trump supporters and liberal activists and lots of folks in between—make her lessons come to life. Highly recommended!

This book is very relevant to these times of political and social polarization. It provides a framework to help us understand some of the reasons for this polarization, and provides some excellent guidelines for how we can all bridge across our “us”’vs. “them” way of thinking. One of my favorite takeaways was to be genuinely curious about the opinions and beliefs of others, rather than rush to judgement and rebuttal. I liked the “walk in my news” analogy, that described how we are shaped by what we read. I also enjoyed reading about how Monica and her colleagues applied some of these strategies in workshops and meetings with real people.

Ein tolles Buch für alle, die über unsere Gesellschaft nachdenken. Vieles was in den USA geschieht, ist in Abwandlungen auch in Europa zu sehen. Die Autorin hat selbst sehr viel unternommen, um die Spaltungen in der US-Gesellschaft überwinden zu helfen. Es ist ein Buch, das mir als politisch Interessierte viele wertvolle Anregungen gebracht hat.

Very interesting book. Somehow a bit too American in its premise of political divide but I did learn a lot about my self and how to approach situations at work. Worth reading

This is just the book I was looking for to help me listen to friends and family I disagree with in this polarized world and to better understand where they are coming from. This help us to find common ground and to maintain our relationship even when we don't agree!

This is a thoroughly engaging conversation about curiosity and how to communicate with people who have different views than you without alienating them. The author provides a plethora of communication tools to help you as you try to understand people whose views on topics are not in sync with your's. Congratulations to Mónica Guzmán upon the remarkable achievement of having pulled together this most entertaining and informative book. I enjoyed every word.